On one-on-one On one-on-one guidance during intensive Zen training – written for Being Without Self, July 2014
In intensive Zen training mostly there’s a form of one-on-one, an exchange between the one that guides and the one that is being guided. The goal of the exchange is to give an impuls to (the depth of) your sitting. In some cases it’s about nothing less than awakening, through koan training or otherwise. Below a short text on one-on-one, written for Being Without Self, based on the ‘form’ that is being used there.
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Each and every moment is one-on-one. Each and every moment is a unique and precious presence, where one is not different and not the same with the other, whatever form it takes. The falling away of separation, the falling away of oneness. Dynamic, vibrant, alive. Each and every moment is a time to deepen and mature practice, and to express yourself as what you are, in complete freedom.
This is the simplest thing in the world, but it is not easy at all. To help you find this freedom, to see it through for yourself and express it in the world, during retreat there is a chance for a more specific one-on-one. Here, it is simply meeting with Jeff – one-on-one.
It can take any form. Come as you are, in all openness. Present yourself, in silence or words, see what comes up, how it unfolds. Where are you in your practice, in your sitting? Is there something you bump up against? Is there clarity and joy, pain and frustration? Where are you, who are you, right at that moment? Present yourself.
To present yourself is to understand what is at the root of yourself at this moment. Not to go for branches, however tempting it may be. One-on-one is not psychological counseling. It is about helping you realize the fundamental truth that you are, your very essence, the essence of all. Your practice will strengthen and deepen.
For me, one-on-one is always a catalyst in my sitting. Rather than it being a break from zazen, to me it is an opportunity to clarify it and to make sure I’m going in the right ‘direction’. Most always, the sitting is deeper and more focused after that.
I had very tough times in one-on-one. Not because of the interaction, but because it is the perfect moment to see your own insufficiency, to see the gap you still have to bridge. That gap becomes very manifest. I often came to Jeff and said: ‘I know it, but I cannot say it from the heart.’
To be confronted with this inability to express it fully, is itself a precious spur for practice. Then, when finally the veils fall away, one-on-one is a chance to test the thoroughness of that. And to find pointers about how to continue practicing.